How to drop your judgment when working with the homeless

And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”

—Matthew 9:35–38

To this day, as I pour myself into the lives of hurting people, the Holy Spirit still uses that passage to give me a much-needed heart check. There is much to learn from that great passage, but two words have always captivated me when it comes to how I relate internally with those I serve: compassion and prayer. Those two words create a strong conviction in my heart that it is impossible to be in a loving relationship with those I serve without having compassion and praying for them. This will enable you to remove all judgment you may have brought into the relationship.

Have you ever worked with someone in extreme poverty? I am talking about more than rolling your window down and giving money to the homeless man on a street corner, or serving food in a soup kitchen, or writing a check to a non-profit. What I am asking is this: have you engaged a poor person in a conversation, listened to their story, and attempted to meet their needs in some way? Did you feel uncomfortable or uncertain in that experience? Have compassion for yourself and look deep inside to find the reasons why you’re uncomfortable. Maybe you’ve had past bad experiences with someone. Maybe you’ve been close to this situation and it’s a bit hard to bear. No matter the reason, when you employ compassion and prayer, you will find the instinct to judge drift away and your heart will change.

Compassion

How did Jesus relate to all of those crowds that gathered around Him? Matthew records in his Gospel that Jesus had compassion on them. He did not become judgmental. He did not become cynical. He did not grow weary of them. His heart did not harden toward those He saw as confused and helpless people. He had compassion on them. Jesus was continually fueled by the compassion He had in His heart for people whom He saw as sheep without a shepherd, lost and helpless. If or when you lose compassion for the broken people you serve, please take a step back and search your heart.

Prayer

When it comes to praying for the hurting people you are serving, be prepared to see the relationships with those you are serving dramatically change when you pray earnestly for them. I hope I have made the point that prayerless service to the poor will prove to be far less effective. I don’t know about you, but I am worn out with trying to help internal change happen in human hearts through external methods. I am ready to view prayer as if it is the primary and power-providing way God is going to change the eternal destinations and internal heart conditions of those I serve.

At the deepest level of your heart, if you want to help people break generational cycles of poverty, addiction, and criminal thinking, you must be engaged in an ongoing, open, and honest relationship with yourself and with those you are serving. One of the things most of the men who have come into the Restoration Program will often say, even early in the process, is that they do not feel judged but feel loved just as they are. They feel relationally accepted simply because they are in our program and made in the image of God.

About Mark McKnelly

Mark McKnelly is an author, motivational speaker and wholistic life restoration minister and coach. McKnelly develops and helps other organizations develop programs for men and women reentering society from incarceration or recovering from addiction. He shares his practical process in his book Change for the Poor to teach others how to help individuals in extreme material and relational poverty restore their own spiritual, relational, personal, vocational and financial lives. His personal journey through addiction and recovery led him to his ministry.